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Scott Van Pelt is Not a Fan of Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind

Joshua
Written by Joshua Posted
Scott Van Pelt is Not a Fan of Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind

Scott Van Pelt is a talented storyteller. The ESPN sportscaster also dislikes roller coasters. Dislike is too tame a word. He despises them, rating coasters a zero on a scale of one to ten. Yet somehow, he rode Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind last Saturday. Any Disney expert would tell you that’s a bad idea. Stick to Slinky Dog Dash or Seven Dwarfs Mine Train. Unfortunately, Van Pelt didn’t ask us for advice.

Van Pelt was in Orlando for the NFL Pro Bowl (why are we still calling it that?). On an off day, he took the family to EPCOT. His wife and kids don’t share his disdain for coasters and were all in on Cosmic Rewind. After riding, they convinced him to join them for round two. That was after he witnessed someone who was in distress after riding: “They’re dragging a man who clearly had a medical episode on this thing,” Van Pelt said. “I think he’s okay, but he does not look to be happy.”

So how did it go? Here’s Van Pelt’s reaction to Cosmic Rewind:

“If you don’t like roller coasters, don’t let people lie to you and tell you that Guardians of the Galaxy is groovy. It’s pitch black. It’s 60 miles an hour. ‘Oh, there’s music!’ Who gives a [beep]! I’m going sideways, and there’s no light. And I don’t know what’s happening. My wife is sitting next to me, hyperventilating, laughing at me.”

Scott Van Pelt on the SVPod

It wasn’t all bad. Van Pelt did say that overcoming his fears proved to his kids that they can “tackle mountains.” I don’t think he meant Space Mountain.

Watch Scott Van Pelt’s full review of Cosmic Rewind.

Read more: Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind Might Make You Queasy